McCain's Thoughts on Video Games: Questionable

McCain Smash!

If there’s one thing we can be certain about it’s that, at some point, every politician has been asked the question: “What is your stance on video game and media violence.” Personally, I think politicians have bigger fish to fry. But families like hearing that a politician has values that coincide with their own…even if those are momentary views meant to steal votes from a rival politician.

Lori Ingham of ConChrist recently had the opportunity to ask Republican Presidential Candidate Sen. John McCain (Arizona) what he thinks about the issue of video game and media violence:

Question #1: With the current controversy over video game and media violence, what is your stance on allowing parents to make the decisions for their children on what they can see and watch? (This question was rolling around in my head primarily because of the recent posts that I had on Jack Thompson)

McCain's Answer: He felt that parents should be the ones to decide for their kids on a case by case basis (which I was satisfied with). He then did a weird segueway (sic) into the evils of child pornography from there, which kind of had me shaking my head.

While I commend Sen. McCain for stating the obvious: that parents should parent (shocker, right?), I share Lori’s confusion on his segue into child pornography issues. Sure, child pornography is a very important issue, but how does that relate, in any way, to video games? Why even set a precedent of discussing the two in the same breath?

Sadly, Lori only paraphrased his response. It would have been nice to see, word for word, how bad his actual statement was. Perhaps he wasn’t fully prepared to deal with the indicated topic. He’s not a video gamer and probably doesn’t really understand the concept or the industry. Is it even useful to have someone that far out of the loop respond to concerns about video game violence? It makes him look old and ostracizes him from gamers with the power to vote, or not vote, accordingly. In an election year where people are screaming for change, this does not seem smart to me at all.

Via: Gamepolitics and ConChrist

Rock Band Adds Pixies. Sean Loses His Shit.

Yeah, I'm a bit of a fan. Starting June 19th, Activision will give you the chance to mangle the Pixies' fantastic album Doolittle. They'll add it to Rock Band's roster for download on the XBox360 on June 19th, and the 26th for the PS3. If you've never heard Doolittle, go hear Doolittle. Then go download Doolittle. It's your only chance to pretend you're a trailblazing alterna-rocker instead of the guy who all the old broads request as their waiter on Saturdays because you're the only one who gets their order right every time, and they like the way your ass shakes when you walk away. Not that I'm.....that.....guy.......

The Numbers Are In....Aaaaannnnddddd......

GTA IV wins. Again. This should come as a surprise to nobody except for that guy who knocks on my door every Saturday and asks if he can mow my lawn for 5 bucks because "times is hard, dawg". Number below, via Gametab:

May 2008 Software Sales

1. Grand Theft Auto IV (360) -- 871,300
2. Mario Kart Wii (Wii) -- 787,400
3. Wii Fit (Wii) -- 687,700
4. Grand Theft Auto IV (PS3) -- 442,900
5. Wii Play (Wii) -- 294,600
6. Super Smash Bros. Brawl (Wii) -- 171,100
7. Iron Man (PS2) -- 130,600
8. Guitar Hero III (Wii) -- 116,800
9. Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Darkness (DS) -- 107,000
10. Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time (DS) -- 102,000

An Introduction, If You Will

Let's get this out of the way now, hmm? Des knows a lot more about gaming than I do. As you can probably tell from my horrifyingly outdated username, my knowledge hasn't stretched too far past 1999 for quite some time now. Sure, I'm one of those suckers who bought Madden every year for the *ahem* "updated rosters", but I'm still pretty much the equivalent of a sassy broad who hasn't had a good spanking since the glory days of disco.

This is where you guys come in. I'm desperate. I'm broke. I'm on the outside looking in. You're all going to teach me. You're going to guide my hand away from the barren wastelands of my groin and back to the heaving cleavage of gaming. I'm the guy who will read most of the comments and probably take them way too seriously. Use it as your opportunity to smack some sense back into me. I need it.

It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're about to buy a PS3. Hit it.

EA? Antitrust? Nah!

EA…Antitrust…We know not what you’re talking about!?!

I don’t think EA will ever lose the stigma of being the Evil Empire of the gaming industry. And when using kitschy Star Wars references like those, it's hard for me not to compare T2 to the scrappy Rebel Alliance; fighting the good fight in their jerry-rigged x-wings, desperately trying to hit that flippin’ exhaust port and blow the whole damn takeover to smithereens! (OK…Star Wars reference over) And now the Federal Trade Commission has started to say “Hey now…that’s too much!” But something about all of this smells of ‘2’ little ‘2’ late. ('2' Fast '2' Furious...ok, really. I'm done.)

The truth? We live in a world of mega-corporations. When you see an independent film today, don’t be shocked to find out that the independent studio that backed it (even with regard to foreign films) is owned by an arm of a Dreamworks or Warner Brothers and so on. That’s the problem; the FTC will probably see this as the natural course of conglomeration with regard to the video game industry.

Part of me wants to scream when I think about that. But the other part of me has to admit the reality of situation: games (like most things) cost money. In addition, stock holders like money…and money buys loyalty (just ask Niko Bellic).

Another thing that irks me is that Take-Two is doing everything possible to make the FTC not rule in its favor. Take for example the recent request by the FTC to look at files pertinent to EA’s bid for Take-Two and rival sports game designer 2K (owned by Take-Two). Here’s my thought: when the government is willing to take your side, you don’t bitch about turning over files to the people that can save you from “hostile-takeover” land.

As quoted from Gamepolitics, Take-Two feels,

“It should not be burdened with providing the documents since it was EA that inititated (sic) the uninvited takeover attempt.”

And while I would love to tell the cop that gave me a ticket the other day for walking between the subway cars (harassment) to go piss off because I’m disinclined to accept his inflated ticket, I don’t get that option Take-Two. And you guys don’t either.

Even analyst-savant Michael Pachter and ‘Level-Up’ legal correspondent Justin Blankenship are just baffled by the ‘stonewall’ (read: bonehead) tactics being used by Take-Two. Posted on N’Gai Croal’s Newsweek Editorial 'Level Up' on June 12th, Blankenshipship writes,

“I would echo Wedbush Morgan analyst Michael Pachter's comments to GamePolitics.com that you wouldn't expect Take-Two to be stonewalling in this situation. You would think that as the unwilling target of EA, it would be in Take-Two's best interests to hand everything over to the FTC as soon as possible with every incriminating quote already highlighted, complete with its own commissioned economic study about how EA would destroy competition in sports videogames, all wrapped up with a pretty red bow.”

Straussy, bubby, make a point of telling your people to do the right thing. Do what the FTC asks you to do. They are doing this because there’s a whiff of dead gaming industry in the air; it’s stale from the lack of competition. I know you would rather eat a newborn child than have T2 fall to the hands of ‘Darth EA’. Just don’t let Jackie-B-Thompson overhear that. Then again, he’s still got the Florida Bar to deal with.

I hate to end on a downer, but after all is said and done I don’t hold much hope for this working out in Take-Two’s favor. When the FTC is in your corner, the play is simple: they say jump, you say 'how high' and 'thank you for the opportunity.' You don't thumb your nose at the guys who are 1-step away from handing you to EA with it's blessing.

The only option Take Two has at this point is to do the right thing and make the guys at EA look like public enemy number one. Treat it like the Mafia trying to silence an informant. Something Puzo-esque. It shouldn’t be that hard. I mean they can start by using the picture at the top of this article as a road map to just how much destruction they leave in their wake.

The (Expletive) Receptacle

Ever get frustrated during an intense game session? Did you feel your blood boil? Was it so bad you felt like you needed to scream bloody murder? Well now you can do just that without having your next door neighbors give you dirty looks the next day (or better yet, your significant other divorcing you). The Sakebi no Tsufu "Shouting Vase", available in Japan for $48USD, is a vase built with baffles to prevent your anger and frustration from being deposited on unsuspecting friends and loved ones. Now I just wish someone would have come up with this device when I was getting my ass handed to me in Ninja Gaiden...would have saved on the rehab and the shock therapy.

Via: Gizmodo

Your Wife is Always Level 70

For any gamer who's in a relationship (dating or married) with a non-gamer, there always comes a time when this bothersome question comes up: "What's so great about (fill in MMO game name here)?" For some people, the issue is far more troublesome. So the team over at FARKtv came up with this documentary to show you how easy it is to re-train your gamer-guy into a real world participant. Just remember, women have boobs, so they are always level 70.

Engage laughter.

Via: GamePolitics.com

There's no Singing in Team Fortress 2!

Tell that to these guys. Copied from an article recently posted on Kotaku, this video is completely and totally, 100%, not news. However, it is by far one of the most disturbing and hilarious things I've ever seen during a match of Team Fortress 2. Believe me when I say the video starts with someone calling out:

Player: I own titanic on VHS. All four fucking tapes

and ends with half the team breaking out into Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On."

warning: make sure you turn your audio down before watching.


TF2 Karaoke: My Heart Will Go On from FLOOR MASTER on Vimeo.


Ladies and Gentleman...humanity has hit rock bottom.